Shoot 'Em Up - Movie Review

The first thing I was reminded of, having seen this movie, was that episode of the Simpsons where Homer gets a gun and uses it to do really stupid and mundane things like change the channel on his television which sends the whole town in uproar because they've never seen anything so irresponsible and he has his license revoked.

That's what Shoot 'Em Up was like. Not mundane. I actually enjoyed this Michael Davis movie. The two leads, Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti play off each other in what is essentially a protracted gun battle across various scenes and locations.

Clive Owen is his good self as the quiet, gun toting anti-hero Mr Smith, who knows what he hates. You can't help but cheer when he:
- shoots the ponytail off a 40 year old man
- steals the BMW off some prick parking illegally in a disabled zone
- forces a Mercedes driver off the road for littering and failing to indicate
- spanks a mother for hitting her child
-ties up a guard for slurping his coffee and saying "ah"
-shoots the earring off a guy and the foot of some Birkenstock wearing drug addict.

What this tells me is that I have a lot in common with Davis or these are common pet peeves.

Paul Giamatti is in excellent form as the sadistic, ex-forensic behavioural consultant Hertz. You can't look away because you're drawn into his bad guy performance. One of the truly great character actors.

Apparently, this is the first movie to have a love scene gunfight and a skydiving mid-air gunfight. But needless to say, guns and bullets are central to the movie and it's obvious that the director loves a gunfight.

Things to keep in mind before watching the movie. Turn off your reality check meter, this isn't meant to be taken seriously and the moving/sweeping/dizzying gunfights are very cinematic but hardly real and gritty. I mentioned Homer Simpson earlier and it is fitting because this has a certain cartoony quality to it so the violence doesn't seem as real. At least until the part where the hero is getting tortured. He's managed to evoke enough of a liking for him that you feel his pain and suffering at having the one thing he's good at taken away from him.

Not one for the kiddies, but any action movie loving bloke should enjoy it. With lots of gun play and a ripping sound track and Monica Bellucci (if you're into that) then definitely pick it up. It's enough of a keeper that I might go and buy a copy.

Regenerators are gray!

I had no idea that the Regenerators on Resident Evil 4 are gray. Not until a nice girl from the Netherlands pointed it out. And here I was, sniping the leeches off black spiky things.

But on a serious topic, I wanted to rant about something important...


Daddy crushes.

Now, we all know the ladies have mummy crushes on one of The Wiggles (mostly Anthony, but I'm pretty sure that new yellow Wiggle Sam is challenging with the youth factor), but I have a daddy crush on one of the Red Coat Dancers.

Tamara Gilliard, if you ever have the chance of reading this please know that you were my favourite Red Coat Dancer. I think it was due to your little ad lib dance at the end of Top of the Tots - it was very funky and upbeat. Actually, so was Franco Torelli's but daddy crushes don't work that way. I never understood why Larissa was in the video more than you, but I feel it has something to do with favouritism and the Fatt-Field-Field triangle of power. A conspiracy theory I shall share with you at one stage.

But I have to go and watch Shoot 'Em Up, now. Review forthcoming.

Indiana Mouse

I bought a hat the other day. May not seem so strange, I know, but I'm not your typical hat wearing guy. I have a thing for watches. If I had lots of money, I would have the coolest watch collection. In my guy world the rules dictate that guys can only wear certain pieces of jewellery. A watch, a wedding ring and cufflinks. Necklaces, earrings and such belong to the ladies.

Or pirates like Captain Sparrow. But I neither look like Johnny Depp, nor troll the seas in the Black Pearl.

Anyway, hats. Yes, I bought a hat! A grey (they called it mid-grey) Akubra Stylemaster. Now, along with not being a hat guy I'm not an afficionado either. But researching (yes, I researched the purchase) has revealed that the name fedora was taken from a play (also called Fedora) in which the titular (isn't that a cool word?) character, Princess Fedora, doffed a hat (I refrained from using the word fedora since it wasn't called a fedora back then). The hats are traditionally made of fur felt, there are many fanciful terms like brim, snap, crown. Anyway, after days of research I kind of unconsciously ordered one.


And here it is. This isn't my actual fedora, I think they're still killing the rabbits (apologies to all the PETA people out there). And now, in my mind I am trying to figure out how exactly I'm going to crease that baby. Looks like this one's been creased the traditional way which is straight down the length with the two front pinches. I figure, why buck tradition?

I shall dub thee recession hat. I think it's okay to say it now, recession. People are no longer in denial about it. I'm calling it the recession hat because I imagine this is what the fellows wore back in the Great Depression. Anyway, it will be an interesting experiment because from what I've seen of my research, most of the (fedora) hat wearing public are fat, bald or greying (google Fedora Lounge - not disparaging these fellows in any way because they all seem lovely fellows and are passionate about hats). Except for Jay Kay from Jamiroquai. He's cool. And it seems that the trick to hat wearing is all about confidence. If you feel awkward about wearing a hat, then you'll look awkward. I dunno, I've seen some fellows who look like they're really comfortable with themselves in a hat and yet, they look awkward. But I'm approaching this with gusto. I don't believe I have the right head shape (the top of my head is the shape of a cube) but I'm going to wear it with attitude, damnit. Well, I'd better. It cost me the good part of $100!

I'm trying to convince my friends to buy hats (because this is obviously the up and coming trend for this year) and help revive the trend, but they joked and started calling me Indiana.

Ah well, as long as it's not Princess Fedora.

Movie Review - Iron Man

Interesting movie. As a fan boy, I noticed they replaced the butler Jarvis with a HAL-esque computer. What happens when they make an Avengers movie???

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do... *

First thing that came to mind was that it wasn't a bad adaptation of comic book to movie. Jon Favreau did a good job and the hype around Downey Jr is worthwhile. I never saw Iron Man as quite the wise cracker he is, but his irreverant nature seems to be a good balance between his alter ego's seriousness. Kind of like Spider-Man in reverse.

Story is your fairly basic stuff. Some background of the protagonist, hero has a life altering moment, discovers and starts exploring new powers, fights a bad guy, the end. But the journey from start to finish was good, but felt a little laboured in the beginning. They could have cut down the scenes where he was imprisoned. Yes, it was an eye-opening experience for Stark, but the viewers could have handled getting there sooner.

And just on a side note, I was watching Gwyneth in this and I couldn't quite tell the difference between the Penny Potts character and say, the one she played in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I mentioned Sean Connery having the depth of one character, but at least he has a charming Scottish accent. What has Gwyneth save for a child named Apple?

All in all, the feel of the movie felt quite similar to Faveau's Zathura. So it brings a childish, simple, streamlined story-telling aspect to it. And this suits the genre, I mean Iron Man is a comic book. Take a look at Ang Lee's Hulk to see how not to do it. Stick to cowboys and mountains, Ang.

This one is not just for comic book fans and is much better than say, the Fantastic Four (not that I'm knocking the movie, I just recognise it isn't the best) and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Stan Lee looks like Hugh Hefner.

I would buy sharks with frickin' laser beams

Damn you, Oz Lotto. I have to go to work tomorrow! Although we often play "What would you do if you won...?". Let's take $20m as an example.

I would still work. A lot of people, when they have a huge windfall like that quit and start living it large and that's where a lot of it goes wrong. Firstly, if I called work (or just didn't show up tomorrow) they would know something was up. And if it's one thing I've seen when people go public about winning is that they always mention that people ask them for money. So I would remain quiet on the fact that I was a multi-millionaire.

1) First thing would be to pay off the mortgage.

2) Second, let my wife do whatever she wanted. Mixing work and family at the moment is difficult and monetary pressures are always on us. If she wanted to take 10 years off while she raised the kids to school age, that would be fine with me. We've got the capital to cover it.

3) Thirdly, buy a supercar. Not an insane one like the Veyron, but a nice Audi R8, Ford GT or even the new Nissan GTRs would be lovely.

4) Set aside some money for our family. Not so much that they wouldn't have to work again, but enough to ensure that money isn't so much a consideration.

5) Invest.

6) Donate. Now I know what you're thinking. What kind of heartless bastard donates last? Well, I make no apologies for taking care of my family first before being able to help others. If the bulk of the money was invested wisely, donations wouldn't be a one off thing anyway.

I often play this with family and friends and it's always interesting to see how other people would handle it all. Did I mention I'd still keep working? No, I'm not kidding. How bored would you be if you just up and quit and did nothing for the rest of your life? I would just like to be in the fortunate situation to say "I don't work because I need the money. I work because I want to work."

My dad is of the philosophy that we should "work to live, not live to work". And to be honest, I do share some of his sentiment. Work should be a means to an end. Not to mean it can't be fulfilling, but if you make it everything or the majority of who you are/what you do then I think you're shortselling your life somewhat. I don't think I would ever be one of those people who slaves away 7 days a week and never see my family. Nor will I be a martyr who will work themselves to the bone and whinges or looks for sympathy in others. It's that tricky balance that some people have trouble achieving and in a team of people who stay back constantly I see it everyday.

Of course, it's difficult not to feel like you're shortchanging work when they send conflicting messages. Firstly, they promote work-life balance as an concept but then immediately follow up with the idea of discretionary effort. Their idea of discretionary effort seems to equate to staying back and putting in the tough slog. But hold on, isn't the idea of work-life balance to not do that because you are managing your work load successfully? I know I'm a little confused and the small pangs of guilt I feel as I leave at 4.30 to get back to my young family quickly leaves as I think about walking through the door and hearing the laughs (or cries) of the people I love. Mind you, that's after a one hour trip home.

Man, I have to get a job closer in. My wife has even said I could ride a scooter if I work was 20 minutes from home. How sweet is that?

So remember kiddos, work enables us to live life but can also bring a sense of achievement and fulfillment. And unless you're uber rich (or don't care) money is a little burning worry in the back of your minds.

No one ever tells you as a kid that life doesn't get easier as the years pass. If I'd have known, I wouldn't have wished so many away.

Anyone there?

I will persist. Even though I write these blogs for myself.

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me.

Blockles does ruin lives

As I examine the clock on the lower right hand corner of my laptop, I notice that the time is 3.44am. What am I doing up at 3.44am you might ask?

Well firstly it's a long weekend for me. No, it's not Munchausen By Proxy day but merely an RDO. Wouldn't be a Munchausen By Proxy day be good. Everyone can be hero for a day! Please, no one think that I think Munchausen By Proxy would be a swell disorder.

I am on an RDO tomorrow. One of the sweetest TLAs (three letter acronyms) ever invented apart from the TLA. Not as catchy as SFA or FTW, but so much sweeter. Yes, RDO. So I get to enjoy a minor sleep in, but probably not. The days of the past midday sleep in is a long dead beast. No doubt, I'll get up and run on 3 hours sleep. But anyway...

I was drawn to the attention of one vlogger from another. italktosnakes sent a challenge to Meekakitty - add me to skype or it's a dance-off. I have to say, kudos for performing a dance video in the middle of a street somewhere in South-East Asia. So, I've been delightfully entertained by Meekakitty for the last hour and a half and I've also been introduced to a couple of cool things. Before I got internet for home (rather than surfing exclusively from work), how could I not know what I was missing out on?

A Love song for Super Mario Kart - how could such a sweetly written song be based on a video game? A video game on an inferior platform I might add! This guy's talented. I haven't got the link, but search for it on youtube and you will find him, complete with yarn moustache.

Blockles - Damn you, Meekakitty. Damn you!!!!

I love Summer

I don't understand these people who hate hot weather. Okay, I can understand where they're coming from, but the hating of hot weather is difficult.

It was a balmy 28 degrees overnight last night here and through the flickering of the lights as more and more householders drew on air conditioning to keep their houses cool, I was outside exercising in the night air. Summer is a fantastic season, because whilst we've been woken from the slumber of Winter spring just doesn't give the boost of spirits that a 37 degree day brings. And it's not humid heat we're talking about. It's the dry kind, which is more bearable.

When I hear people bemoan this time of year, it's the same old thing. If you're hot, it's very hard to cool down. When you artificially cool yourself, you hate going outside. When it's too hot all you want to do is lay about. Blah de blah de blah.

Firstly, our bodies are marvellous at regulating our temperature. It's its own evaporative cooling system. You know, wipe yourself down with a damp face washer. I had a friend construct his own evaporative cooler using a towel and capillary action - obviously a nerd. Or at the very least a miser. And Summer is fantastic for Summer wardrobe. I never complain when girls are about in shorts or skirts. It is an absolute joy because there are so many good legs out there. I am usually smiling for the entire three months.

Air conditioning is just that... conditioning. It gets your body used to a certain temperature and that your brain has a minor whinge when forced out of that comfort zone. Which is tough for office workers - especially since most air conditioned offices aren't a really consistent temperate environment. That is, when it's hot outside it's unusually cold inside.

Summer is the best time of year to eat ice cream! I don't need a reason to eat it normally. Cold, hot... whatever. But it's perfect justification to hoe in to your favourite super premium (I did a marketing assignment on ice cream and yes, there is a category for super premium ice cream. I imagine they'll further this with a super-super premium using gold leaf and truffles (the funghal kind) in their various combinations) or digging into a four litre tub of Bulla. I say Bulla, because as an ice cream lover I don't like Pauls or Peters. They're far too creamy - Bulla has a nice blend of creaminess and a hint of icyness which is fantastic for textural contrasts.

Before I worked full-time, I used to play tennis on days like this. Running myself ragged to the point where my spit was thick and globular and it was great. I didn't feel the heat and it was like I was exerting absolute control over myself and my environment. I think laying down is usually the worst thing because couches are hot and when you're passive the air isn't moving about you, blowing tiny cool kisses.

Do you ever sit in the heat, close your eyes and just feel the breeze caress the tiny hairs on your skin? It's those tiny pleasures that really makes life wonderful. Now, if I could have a two to three month vacation as I did in university, life would just be peachy.

See you outside enjoying the sunshine!

The Hunt for Red October

I was reminded of the Hunt for Red October recently and I was puzzled about the whole Sean Connery thing. Let me get this straight, I like Sean. I personally think he was the best Bond ever (except for Octopussy). When he was Bond, he was suave and sophisticated. He could hold his martini in one hand, slap a woman and shoot a bad guy with the other and no one would bat an eyelid. Now he shaves his upper cheeks to control his beard.

But anyway, Sean had all of one accent. Some bastardised Scottish accent which never, ever changed in his entire hollywood career. Fair enough, when he's playing a super spy in service of the British government. But as a Russian Captain of a nuclear submarine who just happened to under the tutelage of a Scottish english teacher? (By the way, was Alan Quartermain a Scot?) Not bloody likely. Yet, for all the voice and accent coaching some of these hollywood stars get, they obviously don't have enough pizazz to pull off being anyone other than themselves. Otherwise, Connery couldn't be bothered learning and honing another accent in order to get into character. Can the man help it if studio execs pandered to him by either conveniently explaining his accent through some poor scriptwriting device or blatantly overlooked the fact that this fellow had quite a pronounced accent.

And speaking of hunting, I'm on the hunt for a new job. My current project is coming to an end and I don't want to head back to being a customer service manager so I am actively starting to look for work. I can tell that the way I approach it now is very different to the way I used to look for a job. In the past, I would procrastinate, circle jobs half-heartedly in the paper and lamely apply for work but for the most part my heart wouldn't be in it. I did not feel good enough/qualified enough/confident enough that I was the candidate for workplaces.

Born a shy child, self-confidence has always been an issue for me. I had an older sister and while at home, I generally read books and played with toys all by myself. I went to a Catholic primary school and there was a boys and a girls yard. Should any boy dare to cross the threshold, I remember them being forced to wear a girls dress and paraded about the boys yard (boy, I'd like to see that happen nowadays). Obviously, it was all about preservation - we were kept apart because the girls would drink and start fights. So I didn't get a lot of social interaction with the opposite sex. In fact, whenever there was a girl in the room I would either shut up or run into an adjoining room. High school was worse. There wasn't even a girls yard (it was all boys)!

So it wasn't until college where I was forced to interact with women and what a test of fire that was. Making friends was easy enough, but the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was a foreign concept. So, I would take to meeting people on the internet. I remember spending countless hours on the whip and iscaa bulletin boards. I also met some really cool people from Princeton, so at the time I was a pioneer at meeting people over the internet and in real life before this whole blogging/vlogging phenomena. Yes, even back then we had contingency escape plans and made sure we were meeting in VERY public areas.

But it wasn't even then when I learned to like myself. I firstly had to get kicked out of my first university and return to study a year later before that would happen. Cue my next university, I was returning to study what I'd originally begun (Chemistry major) and I'd actually gone and joined social and sporting clubs. I was working at Starbucks, studying and playing tennis and squash 4-5 times a week, shed a lot of weight and was generally noticed by girls. This was the era of self-love (the act of loving oneself, not the self-gratifying kind). And while loving yourself doesn't involve or consist of being loved by others, the journey toward liking who I was started with the surprising fact that others liked me. So I can't be that bad, right? So there I was, popular (finally) and had girls after me and I did what any twenty-something would do, right? Wrong, it seems that my entire upbringing raised a perfect gentleman. But it did give me a brilliant opportunity to learn what I should've learned in high school and that is how to socialise normally. So I sometimes tell people that socially I'm about 5 - 10 years behind where I should be, but I'm a quick learner.

Nowadays, I am more confident and actively seek work which is within my skills set or something which my skills complement. And when in interviews, I can confidently answer and tell potential employers what I bring to the role. I am content with who I am and what I am capable of.

Unlike Sean, I'm not the master of applying one character/accent to multiple scenarios, but rather I'm really good at a lot of different accents but will master none. And you know, I'm okay with that.

Too many Osments

I was browsing i-Tunes today and under the search for Emily, I found Emily Osment! And I wondered to myself, just how many Osments are there? We've got "I see dead people" Osment and "Hannah's BFF" Osment, who I think has been hanging around Miley Cyrus a little too much given the sound of her single "I Don't Think About it". So I googled it. It turns out there's only two of them and their dad's name is Eugene. IMDB tells me he has his pilots license. How random a fact is that? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0652090/bio

Mr Osment, could you sum yourself up in 25 words or less?
"Well, I'm father with my wife Theresa to Haley Joel and Emily Osment. Oh yeah, I can fly a plane." Not that I'm saying he wrote his biography (God help him if he did), but surely there is more to the man than a pilot's license. Mind you, I also read he went by the alias of Michael Osment. If you were going to have an "also known as" you kinda think you would change your last name too.

Anyway, I first saw young Emily on Hannah Montana (I am an avid watcher) and it immediately struck me that if you slapped a long blonde wig (or pink if you're talking Lola) on her she would look exactly like Haley Joel. Same eyes, same nose, same teeth... Does anyone else see it? And then I go and tell people "I guarantee you, she's an Osment!!!" and they have to inspect and say "yeah". It's bloody obvious! Otherwise Haley Joel is resurrecting his tv and singing career as a young, 16 year old girl.

Not ragging on the Osments, more power to them. I just want some of what papa's got.


Eugene/Michael, all donations would be graciously accepted.






Speaking of donations, weirdly enough a friend of my wife was talking about getting a sperm donor if she ever got too old and hadn't met anyone. Not particularly weird in this day and age, we've known that men are becoming a little obsolete when it comes to the act of procreation. No, the weird part is that the husband of another friend of my wife has volunteered to give his. Not only that, but they keep joking about it. Now I understand this was made in jest, but even still, I find it very strange and incredibly WRONG that anyone would do this. Firstly, you don't know my wife's friends. But secondly, you don't know my wife's friend's husband. Eww. I mean, normally I flog a dead horse until it's nothing but a skeleton but I would never ever go there and yet he continually goes there.

Although, his wife is still wearing her maternity gear almost one year after her baby and surprisingly he's lost a lot of weight and is flirting a lot with her friend.

Where the hell is Joey Greco's number???? I gotta call Cheaters. This is definitely a story made in white trash heaven.

What the hell am I doing?

In recent weeks, I've been reading with great interest the blogs (and watching the vlogs) of others. Call it voyeurism, but I think there's this deep down need to observe and ultimately understand what makes other people tick.

No, I'm not an anthropologist. Just curious.

And so, thinking through I think that blogging will provide some sort of catharsis for me. In the MBA, they pound and pound and pound into you that you can't possibly lead other people effectively without first understanding yourself. So I'm hoping through this process, I'll get little epiphanies here and there and if other people happen to stumble across this, maybe they can shed a little light on what limited information is provided.

Speaking of which, I don't even know how I got started on this. I think it started with my sister-in-law showing me a Brotherhood 2.0 vlog called Accio Deathly Hallows, where Hank Green sings about his eager anticipation of the last Harry Potter instalment. I thought this was pretty funny that someone had enough passion for a series to write a song like this. Fast forward a year and I decide I want to hear that song again and discover that it is but one of a series of posts between two brothers in an experiment involving textless communication. Anyway, having viewed the evolution of these vlogs, I noticed that not only did they get better at making them but also managed to inspire others with their whole Nerdfighter movement.

You cannot fault these guys, they're making the world a more positive place in their fight for awesomeness.

I don't have such lofty plans for this little blog. Well, if people actually knew me deep down they would know anything I think of always has grand designs and ambitions, but not this time. The more I glean about myself, the more I benefit.

Anyway, I perhaps should lay some ground rules because organic growth of these sort of things tend to meander and not come to fruition. A daily blog about anything. My choice. This is a unique experience for me because I've only really been choosing/deciding for myself for the last 5-10 years.

No, I am not 12 years old. In between work or study at nights, I pick a topic and type. Sounds simple. I'm sure it isn't.