Laundry is bad

In the news today - A woman was killed in Hong Kong when she was struck down by a 74 year-old pensioner, who had slipped off her 27th floor balcony while collecting her clothes.

A couple of things become glaringly obvious.

Firstly, laundry is hazardous to your health. I hate hanging, collecting and folding the wash. Now I know why. Apparently, one must stay vigilant of falling down the laundry chute and breaking your neck, which ranked ahead of accidentally mistaking a handgun for a telephone and blowing your head off in the top 600,000 killers of American people.

Secondly, we now have another use for the elderly. That's right, as kamikazee contract killers. What wasn't reported was that the husband of the victim had put out a hit on his wife to the sum of US$5,000. Using pensioners reduces the strain on government coffers by lifting the over-reliance on the pension; provide financial freedom to self fund funerals; gives further assistance to the family of the pensioner for particularly lucrative contracts; all while having a favourable effect on the nation's unemployment figures.