Early morning exercise

I just played squash at 6.30am. And besides the fact that I was working away on my laptop and my son was up all hours of the night with teething pains which made getting out of bed a struggle - I feel really good. Refreshed and invigorated.

I know it's good for me, yet I wonder why I don't make time to do these things for myself. I mean, there are family/school/work commitments which makes catching up with friends really difficult. But then there has to be a little space for me somewhere. Which is why I've turned into a bit of a night owl of late. It's just time for me to be alone.

What do I do in this alone time? Not much really. I may process the day's happenings, but I know that it is just a gradual unwind for my mind to take a break and not think about anything. I muck about on the internet watching crappy youtube videos (which has really bumped internet usage up - really need to cut down to avoid excess charges - or surf at 1.00am onwards). I like watching videos where people do stupid things and hurt themselves. So yeah, I guess that puts me in the "Funniest Home Videos" category. I watch the odd vlog here or there. Read random things about whatever pops into my head or about any questions that has come up through the day.

I watch TV. Usually nothing on at that time of the night. TV really needs to get better programmers. I'm sure they need to balance cost with revenue but for deadspace I would put something entertaining on - because I sure as hell am not the only person with the tube on at nights. And I do not want to see another pro-ACTIV infomercial as long as I live!

So yeah, I like my alone time. Don't get me wrong. I love the time I spend with people but I guess as a natural introvert in can get a bit tiring and my brain needs the space to sit back on a bean bag and go "aaaaaahhhhhh".

We always want what we can't have

I often begrudge the fact that I'm muscularly built and short. Why the hell couldn't I be skinny? I could wear:
- skinny ties
- long jackets
- shark skin suits
- slim leg pants
- shirts or polos untucked

I have the sad affliction of long torso, short legs. My wife is 6', I am 5'7" and we have the same length torso (just to paint a picture).

I know what I should be wearing, but I want to wear other things goddamnit! Why oh why did my genes result in this particular combination?

i-Pod faves

Above is a screenshot of the songs on my i-Pod sorted in order of times played. It's theorised that you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. And yes, it is surprising to find out a friend likes classical or jazz, like it's a side not often seen or associated with that person.

Michael Franti is the top song. Stay Human is a funkadelic song about modern life and living.

Surprisingly, my morning song "Shake It" is there. Damn you, Metro Station. That is one catchy song of which I have yet to tire. There are some golden oldies in there, which reveals an old soul. But if you can't appreciate the beautiful melody of "What a Fool Believes", the sweet tunes of "I Can't Go For That" or shaking your groove thing to "September" , these are joys in life you're missing out on. Smatterings of AC/DC, Weezer (I'm a fan but haven't moved past Pinkerton and am obsessing over whether to spend the $11.99 for Make Believe or the green album or even the $16.99 for the red album). Does anyone else have the problem with gift vouchers in that they want to get the best thing they can with the voucher. I received vouchers over Christmas and had THE HARDEST time spending them because I was always second guessing the purchase and always dwelling on other options.

So while I love getting vouchers, they are a bane of my existence. Not to mention, I have a tendency to lose book vouchers and such. No doubt, in years to come I'll open a paperback and find a voucher bookmarked within with an expiry date of 2005.

Yes, there is some Atomic Kitten, Jessica Simpson and even *gulp* Lindsay Lohan. Actually, I'm not all that ashamed about having them. Atomic Kitten's "Ladies Night" is a good cover and I always laugh as I am reminded of John Lovitz playing a wedding singer in "The Wedding Singer" and singing this song. Jessica Simpson's "Public Affair" is a cute little pop song and Lindsay Lohan's "First" actually does get the blood moving in me.

You'll notice Van Halen's Jump is in there - this used to be my previous morning song. Kiss "Rock and Roll All Nite" is also a previous morning blood pumper. There's a song on there called "Emily" which I'm trying to learn on ukulele for my wife because I can't be bothered trying to plug my electric guitar in every time I want to play.

An interesting one is JT's "Damn Girl", I'm assuming everyone knows who JT refers to. I listen to "Damn Girl" as a sexy song. My life is ruled by music and the movies. A lot of the way things have panned out is because of how I'd visualise it as a Hollywood movie. Heck, I even used some Buffy witty reparte/pick up lines on my wife before we started dating. It's less of an influence now, but I guess there's a point where fantasy gives way to reality. This is not a bad thing, as fantasy is a good thing but can keep you oblivious to what's around you and if you're always expecting things to be like they are in the movies, you're going to be one sad little buckeroo.

Speaking of happiness, I've been filling some of my time scooter shopping! I will hopefully be in line to get a scooter within the next few months and I'm drooling over the possibilities. Out of my possibilities will be a used Vespa ET4 150 or PX200 (There is no way I am not buying one of these brand new), a used Yamaha Vino 125cc or a new SYM Fiddle 2. I'm also excited that I have to plan everything from getting my bike licence, safety gear, riding through the streets of Rome with my legs sticking out and laughing. Damn, there's that Hollywood-isation of my life again. So if I end up reporting that I got a Vespa, then you know I've gone all "Roman Holiday".

INTP

I mused upon my last Myer-Briggs test and was relating back to what's happening at work and I decided to refresh my memory. I found this nifty webpage with articles by Joe Butt (http://typelogic.com/intp.html) which says the following about INTPs.

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

---

INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them. This part is very true. I have been described as distant by some people who don't really know me. I have worked very hard to be approachable, warm and engaging every time I meet people. I used to be immensely shy and it was a hard thing to do. I always felt like I was under a spotlight, trying to break free of the jail which held me - a long held character trait which was not useful.

Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off. While annoying to the less concise, this fine discrimination ability gives INTPs so inclined a natural advantage as, for example, grammarians and linguists. Imagine mixing detachment with the need to correct others? I must be extremely charming in my natural state, no? I do the correcting less subconsciously now and have allowed my more relaxed nature to ask myself "does it really matter?" and in the grand scheme of things, it usually doesn't.

INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves. My wife describes me as incredibly laid back. Benign ambiance? I don't want to be benign! In terms of making spectacles, I try to create a fish story in the minds of people. I forget the horribly trite anecdote from a former CEO, but the fish story is having someone being able to relate or say to you "you're the fish guy!" even if they've only met you once. It's a hook to keep you memorable.

A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. I always used to (and sometimes still do) worry about failing. In my youth, I used to think that if I didn't try properly, then I never really failed. What kind of insane logic was that??? Don't worry, I now know that not trying and failing is still failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. Too right, the confidence is a sham at times. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) Informally, I think P is for Procrastination. How I wish I could be Judging so that I can make lists and finish things! conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. The project I'm working on has me defining certain terms for the organisation. I have yet to finalise the definitions because I keep editing and editing and editing because I KNOW there's going to be a better definition. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition. In this way INTPs are markedly different from INTJs, who are much more confident in their competence and willing to act on their convictions.

Mathematics is a system where many INTPs love to play, similarly languages if I had the patience and dedication to perfect it, computer systems do games count?--potentially any complex system. INTPs thrive on systems. Understanding, exploring, mastering, and manipulating systems can overtake the INTP's conscious thought. For me to learn, I need to understand how things work and break it down into it's simplest processes and systems. This fascination for logical wholes and their inner workings is often expressed in a detachment from the environment, a concentration where time is forgotten and extraneous stimuli are held at bay. Accomplishing a task or goal with this knowledge is secondary.There it is again, task completion is secondary! I have been working on this project for the last 5 months and now project completion is coming up and I'm madly rushing to get it all done. I am sure the work's going to be fine and I have definitely learned much over my time. But I wish this was more of a natural thing for me. I know that within myself, I like starting projects. I like being able to think about and expand ideas and get in and learn, but to actually finish something wasn't a priority for me. This would explain why I struggled to finish university. I had to get over this natural tendency of mine.

Tying this in to the type of leader I am, maybe I should be a change leader or a one who is there to start a venture and at least then I can inject the enthusiasm and ideas which are in abundance at the beginning.

INTPs and Logic -- One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.

Games NTs seem to especially enjoy include Risk, Bridge, Stratego, Chess Chess Captain - yes, this was considered a sport at my high school, Go, and word games I love word games! of all sorts. (I have an ENTP friend that loves Boggle and its variations. We've been known to sit in public places and pick a word off a menu or mayonnaise jar to see who can make the most words from its letters on a napkin in two minutes.) The INTP mailing list has enjoyed a round of Metaphore, virtual volleyball, and a few 'finish the series' brain teasers.

INTPs in the main are not clannish. The INTP mailing list, with a readership now in triple figures, was in its incipience fraught with all the difficulties of the Panama canal: we had trouble deciding on:Again, true! I can quite happily go off and be by myself for countless hours.

1) whether or not there should be such a group,

2) exactly what such a group should be called, and

3) which of us would have to take the responsibility for organization and maintenance of the aforesaid group/club/whatever.

Famous INTPs:

Socrates
Rene Descartes
Blaise Pascal
Sir Isaac Newton

U.S. Presidents:

James Madison

John Quincy Adams

John Tyler

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Gerald Ford

William Harvey (pioneer in human physiology)
C. G. Jung, (Freudian defector, author of Psychological Types, etc.)
William James
Albert Einstein
Tom Foley (Speaker of the House--U.S. House of Representatives)
Henri Mancini
Bob Newhart
Jeff Bingaman, U.S. Senator (D.--NM)
Rick Moranis (Honey, I Shrunk The Kids) I am in some esteemed company
Midori Ito (ice skater, Olympic silver medalist)
Tiger Woods

I often wonder whether I was born like this (nature) or whether I was raised to be like this (nurture). No doubt, it's a mix of the two. I will never blame my parents for the way I turned out. Firstly, I should never dislike what I've evolved into. Secondly, as a new parent myself, maybe we're ill-equipped to deal with different character traits and so do the best we can for our kids in the hope that when they're adults - they're going to be okay!

We could of course, try and take the managerial approach and try to manage our kids and ourselves. Communicating in ways that actually penetrates through the filters to comprehension. Being able to read cues and respond in a consistent and fair way should actually receive good results, but everyone's idea of managing/management differs. In this instance I use management as the framework to directing the behaviours of yourself and others.

I often tell people that I feel management is manipulation. And I can manipulate people to do things, be on-side, be off-side, say things. No, I'm not Rick Starr - Hypnotist. I just have a reasonably good read on people.

At least I manage to finish these blogs. But they could always be better...